Letters from a Thief
by Blooming Mint
Summary: Post-BDM. When the crew of Serenity should be coming together, they are slowly falling apart. Eventual RAYNE, but looks at the whole crew.
1. Chapter 1

Right, so... Welcome to my little adventure. I'll save my super-harsh critiques of myself for myself though I do so want to blurt them out. This is my first venture into the Firefly 'verse, let me know what you think. I feel like my muse will take us on a pretty angst-ridden ride, so be prepared. Not that it needs to be said, but none of this belongs to me. Rating will most likely increase later. Post-BDM.

* * *

At least things couldn't get any worse.

They had been through hell and back, his crew. They were recovering – some more slowly than others, but the pace wasn't what was important – what was important was that they _were_. And they would. And everything would be right in the world. Well, as right as things could be.

And it was that thought – that _hope –_ that had blinded him to the truth of the matter. He never saw it coming, none of them did. Well… almost none of them.

Dinners had been a quiet occasion ever since the table had acquired a few extra empty chairs. The whole damn boat had been pretty quiet as of late. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just that there was so much to be said and thought and felt that no one wanted to impose on anyone else. With the exception of Simon and Kaylee, everyone seemed to prefer to find a quiet spot on the ship alone. And even then, it seemed that Simon only enjoyed the company of Kaylee and Kaylee the company of Simon.

They had taken to sexin' and sexin' and sexin' some more. There were huge stretches of time where neither hide nor hair of the two of them would be seen, but everyone would know what they were doing. The marks they couldn't hide only made the rest of the crew wonder what the marks they couldn't see looked like. The few times when the spell that had bewitched them was shaken from Simon, he'd attempted to fuss over River and she had always deftly deflected his concern with ease.

It was the opinion of the whole crew that the girl was saner than ever. Ever since Miranda, it was like the gears had clicked into place for their little witch and suddenly everything was working in tip top shape. She appeared more lucid than ever, if not a bit too contemplative for her own good. Much of her time was spent piloting their home, staring out into the abyss with solemnity etched into her features.

Zoe had removed all traces of Wash from where he had once sat happily perched with his dinosaurs. She'd offered them to River, remembering how the girl would sit for hours with their departed pilot, their eyes dancing with humor, but the girl had waved her off quickly enough ("She will need them again before the girl will have the chance to reacquaint herself."). She only felt a small pang of guilt that the dinos had now taken up residence in a box beneath Zoe's empty bed.

Inara had reclaimed her old shuttle for the time being, but had failed to relay any of her future plans to the rest of the crew.

Everyone was still hurting. And then with the clearing of his throat, Jayne hurt them all again.

"I reck'n I'll b' on mah way once we hit dirt side again."

There was a brief pause as silence descended upon the table, stretching just long enough to be shattered by the clattering of silverware, scraping of chairs and harsh language spat in his direction.

"Gonna abandon us now, are ya?" Mal sneered, his chair sliding back with a screech as he stood.

"No! Jayne, you can't!" Kaylee had gasped, turning her attention to someone other than Simon for the first time since they'd soared into the black. She'd stood as well, in order to more fully get her point across by throwing herself at the big merc.

"If that's what you think is best…" Simon's dismissive tone earned him a glare from Kaylee.

"Sir, would you mind stepping off my foot?" Zoe stood in solidarity with her captain as soon as she was able to maneuver out of her chair.

"Mal, there is no need to be out of your chair." Inara admonished. Her face revealed no emotion as she carefully attempted to bring his chair back to him in order to avoid further incident at the dinner table.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds took a moment to survey the paralyzed crew that was set before him. All eyes were on him, as he'd jumped from his chair and immediately taken a hostile stance. His mechanic was battling back tears even as she let the sniffles betray her. His doctor was studiously observing something mighty interesting that suddenly cropped up on his plate. His first mate was standing resolutely at his side, another painful reminder that she would always trust him regardless of the circumstances. His… _Inara_ was sipping tea, but he found his chair pressed up against the back of his knees and followed her glance towards it. In fact, the only two people who hadn't weighed in on the announcement were his pilot and his ex-muscle.

Hell, Jayne had gone back to eating his dinner around a clinging Kaylee like he _hadn't_ just quit on them all after everything they'd been through together.

"If this _ben tian sheng de yi dui rou_ wants to leave, I ain't gonna be the one to stop him." And with that, Mal dropped heavily back into his seat, a scowl heavy on his features. If Jayne could still eat, so could he.

The rest of dinner had been silent except for the wayward sniffle of Kaylee's and the clinking of silverware. It wasn't until the end of dinner that Jayne cleared his throat again and started gathering up the dishes.

"Still a part a' the crew 'til then." He said in explanation, depositing the dirty dishes in the sink and starting to scrub them. It was still his turn to clean up.

Mal muttered something dark as he stomped off, the rest of the crew giving him sympathetic glances as they exited.

It wasn't until he returned to his bunk later, finding all of his clothes freshly laundered and folded at the foot of his bed, that he was sure that he was making the right decision. The only person whose opinion he'd cared about had held her tongue at dinner. He'd made the announcement specifically to see if she'd give her input and she'd disappointed.

But it looked like she hadn't disappointed completely and he was taking the clean laundry as a tacit sign of her approval.

Time seemed to slow after his announcement, only to come crashing down on him when he finally had to make good on his promise. No one had seen him off the ship – everyone too busily wrapped up in their own worlds to bid a traitor farewell. He didn't mind, probably deserved it even. It had taken him a few deep breaths to square his shoulders and take the first step, but once his feet started moving he found that it wasn't as hard as he'd imagined.

Before long, his feet had carried him so far that the ship couldn't even be seen over his shoulder no matter how hard he squinted at the horizon. And with each step further, he found a little weight had been lifted from his shoulders, a little more freedom awarded for his bold action, a little more affirmation that this had been the right thing to do.

It took him another month to get to where he wanted to be, but when he finally did he was awarded with a hearty meal, a warm bed and his mail. The woman who had handed it to him merely shrugged off his confused expression and, after confirming once again that he was Jayne Cobb, went about her business without ever giving him a second thought.

The first package had been forwarded by someone. It was a gift from his mother, another birthday come and gone without Jayne's notice. However, the scarf he unwrapped after so gracelessly ripping through the packaging was enough to turn his introspective scowl into a lopsided grin. It matched his hat.

The second piece of mail – a plain envelope – had answered the question of who had taken the care to forward his mail to him to a place where he'd only known he would visit but three days prior. The feminine loops and curves of the script said it all.

"_Gorram_ Reader." He muttered, tracing the lettering with his fingers.

* * *

ben tian sheng de yi dui rou - stupid, inbred sack of meat

Intrigued? Interested in seeing more? I know it's all a little vague right now, but let me know what you're thinking! Reviews are the toast to my jam.


	2. Chapter 2

My muse is a fickle being - it comes, it goes. I hope you're still all here with me. Another mostly set up chapter, but I promise there is Rayne in the forecast. Thank you to those who left commentary. Lots of love.

* * *

_Do not grieve for Serenity. Wash is taking care of her by now._

_R_

It was one of the first things the moonbrain had ever said – er, written – to him that he understood and yet… he didn't understand it at all. The words all made sense to him, but the meaning was lost.

Adding to his frustration was the fact that he'd set the letter aside for days while he settled in. He thought it was going to be long and complicated like her speech had always been. He'd expected it to hold all the things she hadn't said on the night of his announcement. He'd waited until he'd had an easy day, until he'd set aside enough time to really work through moony's ramblings because it was supposed to give him answers.

What it gave him was a headache. And after reading the words for what must have been the hundredth time in search of some meaning he was missing, he crumpled the delicately written note and tossed it across the room in a huff of frustration.

Obviously moonbrain was just as moony as ever.

* * *

No one felt Jayne's loss.

The boat was in mourning and Mal had made no indication of picking up any jobs in the meantime. No jobs meant no need for none of that intimidating muscle that Jayne was good for. _Only thing the hun dan was good for_ Mal had said. Even River was behaving herself something mighty impressive (another Mal decree), making Jayne even more obsolete.

Despite the minor setback in their recovery, Mal still stupidly clung to that hope that everything would be okay. And then everything wasn't. Again.

Inara had made her announcement with more grace than Jayne, but it was the same nonetheless. When the ship set down for refueling next, she would take her leave. The Guild was offering her an opportunity that only a fool would refuse.

Her impassioned words drew no criticism from the solemn crew. It was only when her voice hitched almost imperceptibly that Kaylee lost it. An anguished half-whimper, half-sob escaped her and she buried her head in Simon's shirt to cry. He did his best to comfort her. Zoe was stoic as always and River had kept eating through the announcement.

Mal nodded once – his expression darker than it had been when Jayne abandoned them. And that was the end of that.

The next announcement had been a shock mixed with the bitter taste of familiarity.

Just days after they'd set Inara free, Zoe quietly announced that they were altering their course. Only Simon and Kaylee were left to be surprised. And their minds immediately went to the worst case scenarios.

Their eyes wildly danced over to Mal, who had been uncharacteristically quiet while standing in the place he'd usually reserved for his first mate. He could only clear his throat and look to Zoe.

"I reckon she'll want to tell you the good news herself." He offered lamely.

"We're stopping by Wash's family home to drop me off. They'll want to meet his little one."

Kaylee had gasped and jumped up to hug her in a somewhat awkward gesture for the first mate. The overwhelming relief she'd felt for it to be good news for once poured out of her and over the room. Simon had the biggest grin on his face and immediately went to fussing about the health of the baby and the mother.

Parting on good terms was something unfamiliar to what was left of their crew, but they were glad to have the opportunity. Wash's family had welcomed them into the fold, if only for a few days while they recuperated. They were fed and rested and finally able to just _stop_ for a few minutes after everything that happened.

It was during this downtime that River had started in on Simon. With his insecurities set squarely in her crosshairs, she started needling away at him. Did Kaylee want children? Had they talked about their future? When _exactly_ would Simon propose to her?

Simon – the boob – had no idea how to answer any of the tough questions his sister was asking him. The more she asked the more agitated he got. And it was in these peak moments of agitation and confusion that she would plant her seeds. Under the guise of the fractured mind she once carried in her head, she would spout what seemed to be nonsense. She used all these pretty words of 'doing the noble thing' and 'not going down with the ship' and references to long forgotten literature from Earth-that-was.

Perhaps it was cruel, but it was for the best. They would never get where they were supposed to be at this rate.

After instilling the proper amount of doubt in Simon, River set to disenchant Kaylee with Serenity. It was harder than dealing with Simon and required a much lighter touch. The talks were long and involved and much reminiscing was done. She wasn't sure she'd done the job, but the gaps could be filled in by Simon. At least she hoped they would.

When Simon found his way to the bridge one evening, River already knew what the conversation would entail.

"She wishes not to depart."

"River, I haven't even –"

"No, Simon and Kaylee must go, but she will stay for now."

"River, I would never –"

"It is not abandonment, she chooses this. It is her decision, is it not?"

"Well, yes… but –"

"She is an adult. Serenity will not fly without her."

"Mal will –"

"The Captain will not."

"So there's nothing –"

"No. She recommends Kaylee break the news."

"River, you cannot possibly –"

"She can and she will. Has he not been commenting on how well she has been doing?"

"Yes, but listen to yourself. You've reverted to talking in the third person again."

"She believes this condition to be temporary. And she will write frequently. He must think of his own future as well."

"I am, but River –"

"She is entering her night cycle now."

And with that, River rose from the pilot's seat to breeze past her dumbstruck brother. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought his dear sister had anticipated this conversation long in advance. She did speak as if her mind had been made up many moons ago.

When Kaylee and Simon finally got up the courage to approach Mal, it was no longer as if someone were rubbing salt in his open wounds. This feeling was so familiar that he barely registered the dull ache of his family breaking apart around him. He did ask if Kaylee was pregnant and mustered up enough energy to pull Simon aside for some proper threats to his manhood should he offend Kaylee's virtue or whatnot.

After what felt like an eternity of goodbyes, they departed from Serenity hand in hand – neither one looking backwards but for a moment to flash twin smiles.

River waved.

Mal was already trying to shut the bay doors.

"I expect the next place we dock will be our last, little Albatross. Make it a good one."

"Yes, Captain."

"Oh, and you're fired after that."

"Yes, Captain."

"I reckon Wash'll take care of Serenity. Dontcha think?"

"Yes, Captain."

* * *

Still with me? Hate my version of River? Hate my version of everyone? Comments going both ways are loved. I can always use the constructive criticism.


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